I accidentally dug my nails into my Kyllan’s undressed banana. He loves his banana and takes very care of it. Sometimes I wish I was the fucking banana (Only before it gets eaten). I am the only one he lets touch his banana and for that, I feel privileged. He has the longest banana that I have ever seen. I have no idea where he buys the bananas. I just enjoy eating them.
He is freaking out and threatening to touch my tits because I have ruined his perfect banana. It is quite late and he cannot go out to get another one.
Here is how he eats his banana…..
He peels off the entire banana peel. Takes out the strings and cuts off both ends. He channels his inner Hulk and smashes the shit out of that sexy fruit with his fist, only one fist-pound is enough. He then scoops the hulk-smashed banana with a serving spoon and puts it in his really big mouth then swallows (something I love watching him do, it gives me the female version of half a chub) and makes a face that signals he is quite pleased with his banana. That mouth is so big; he could hold three billiard balls in there without straining even a little bit.
When he is done with his banana, he sits down and watches me eat mine. This is usually the favorite part of his day. We have this banana thing that we do every day. It is one of the special things in our relationship and is probably the reason why he and I will last forever. We will get married because of bananas. It will be a three people marriage, my girlfriend will be my wife and he will be my husband (this is definitely one of my incredible thoughts). Each time we eat bananas together, our bond deepens. It is quite magical. We love bananas.
Without bananas, we would not be happy. He watches me peel my ripe banana from the stem end. I pull the skin off in similar strips. I remove the banana strings. I get rid of the banana skin. I then open my mouth, shove the entire banana in my mouth which is not so big but I have trained it on how to act big and do activities that big mouths accomplish. I have worked on my gag reflex for a while so that I can be able to pull this off and make my Kyllan happy.
A toast to all the bananas that we are yet to eat and to my girlfriend who is yet to be introduced to this ritual.
2 thoughts on “How we eat bananas”
Bananas! You make it sound like you are sharing martinis. Hilarious! (Hope it was meant to be)
I am glad you found it hilarious because when I read it back myself, I just thought it was bonkers. Thanks for the vote of confidence.